Aren't we not?
Or shall I say creatures in general.
I learnt the other day that dolphins would find puffer fish to play with them, as being stung make them 'high' somehow.
Humans manufacture stimulants that technically would harm you temporarily and mildly to an extend to feel good about oneself. Alcohols and drugs have been the main topic of the whole human race since the beginning now.
So would it be safe to say that, humans are...masochists somehow by design?
I, a fellow human, am definitely not an exception.
If you have known me for a while, you know I'm talking about emotions.
Even though I know that indulging in these emotions would eventually sadden me, although I am now very good at hiding it, I would indulge regardless.
It's like an addiction. My friend saying 'mưa tới đâu mát mặt tới đó' kind of enable it somehow even - like validate and justify it.
Because the feeling of in pursuit of someone - even though fabricated - is addictive to me.
I know for a fact that I will be lonely, which is fact-based and not just me being negative, which you won't debate knowing my history - so hope is out of the equation.
The weird, or maybe worst, thing is: I don't hope. I do not have any expectations of any long terms.
It's like a cognitive dissonance that disconnects me from the reality, past, present and future for a while and experience living in a parallel, alienated metaverse in seconds, minutes or if I'm lucky, hours.
Like it wouldn't be able to tell the difference between caring for someone who is your loved one, and caring for someone who isn't.
If the physical, emotional and mental senses match up - it makes sense.
If that someone is pretty, lovely, saying nice things to you, teasing me, the cognitive dissonance 'script' or 'cron job' would kick in and setup a 'virtual environment' in which that fantasy is active.
But isn't it cruel on me, or on the other person sometimes?
But isn't all stimulants are like that? Alcohols, drugs, or any dopamine-inducing things that our mighty human race has invented over the last centuries all leave regrets?
A kind of worthwhile regret, according to the beneficiaries, or shall I say, victims?
Saundersfoot, 21:26, July 19th, 2026.
it is now 00:18
lying on the back balcony on the gladiator 12'6", starrying at the sky; chatgpt and writing these
and just like after a round of alcohol, its regret that stays, and its always that i shouldnt have started in the first place, close ur fucking heart, help ppl, contribute to this world when smiling
ppl dont want to see u sad, it's no use to them?
“If I can’t be someone’s partner, maybe I can at least be useful.” said ChatGPT
its not wrong?